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Masturbation Makes Everything OK

Lonesome, worried, life has you up against the wall with claws griped tightly around your throat. No problem, Loser, jerk off. Mom taught me to have a life long relationship with masturbation. And all my relationships are based on mutual adoration of porn. In fact we have yet to consummate our 26 year marriage because we're too busy jerking off, watching her fuck and me sucking everything in sight.

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